On the Greener Side

The greener side of the fence. You know, where the grass is... well... greener. I spent 3 1/2 years peering through the chain links watching friend after friend after friend get pregnant, sail through pregnancy, give birth to pink-cheeked cherubs and talk about how wonderful it was. I know that the point of that saying is that the grass really isn't greener over there. But in this case, I was sure it was. For heaven's sakes, how could having a child not be better than monthly devastation, needles, hormone-induced psychosis, and spending more intimate time with my physician than with my husband? Three and a half years of trying, nine rocky months of pregnancy and one scary birth later, here I am. The greener side of the fence. And not only is it better (duh); it is beyond what I ever imagined. On the off chance that any fellow infertile ever reads these thoughts, let me add something here. Being a parent is the best thing I have ever done. However, that does not mean that it is a Hallmark commercial. This seems to be a common theme among infertiles (there are many). You spend so much time putting parenthood on a pedestal that it can be a major jolt when the baby is born and you are tired, and frustrated by the crying, and overwhelmed by the demands of a newborn. Being infertile does not protect you from the daily rigors of parenthood. And the very unfortunate part is that many infertile parents feel like they don't have the license to discuss the frustrations that every other parent discusses. After all, they asked for it, they took drugs for it, they paid for it. That being said, for every whine, mess and tantrum, there are a hundred magical moments: learning something new, kisses, snuggles, becoming an individual. And it is my firm belief that while most parents cherish their children, those of us who have worked so hard to bring those children into our lives cherish those moments just a bit more, knowing how close we came to never having them at all. It is greener indeed over here: glowing technicolor green.