How Much Do You Trust FedEx?

Would you trust them with your kids? What about your frozen globs of potential kids? We need to have our 12 frozen embryos shipped from our old stomping grounds in NC here to TX so that they can be transferred into my uterus where they will promptly raise their tiny cellular middle fingers at me and fling themselves out of my cervix, having lost all will to live (apparantly, judging by our past success, my uterus is like a shady Motel 6 with cockroaches on the floor and suspicious stains on the sheets and crackheads next door... no place for proper refined embryos... my son must have low standards). I have dragged my feet on this task mainly because it involves getting 35,000 pieces of paper from various sources plus my husband, a notary and me in the same place all at once and that has proved almost impossible. (Hey... sounds like a good joke... "A husband, a notary and an infertile walk into a bar..."). Without officially signed pieces of paper, the labs that currently house our embryos won't ship them and the lab here won't receive them. And now suddenly I find myself starting a cycle in which embryos are supposed to be put in me and said embryos are half way across the country. I am torn between giving up on this month but trying to get them here for next month and spending all day talking to labs, finding a notary, throwing him into the back of a speeding white van with no windows (ski mask on my face, obviously), binding and gagging him, dragging him into the OR where my husband is busily giving his patients happy drugs, taking a hit for myself, getting those papers signed and overnighted, and hoping that FedEx pulls through for me.